Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
