The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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