I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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