Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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