I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
