Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
