what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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