Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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