we're blogging at a bar
I wish my penis had an off switch
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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