porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He better not be in your backpack
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
