margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
someone owes me an orgasm
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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