You're completely useless in the revolution.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
