she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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