The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I know her cup size but not her name....
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