mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
