and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
