Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
