Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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