I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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