Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
