so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
