There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
