Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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