apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
