i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Found the puke drawer
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
