my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
