party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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