Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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