I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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