so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
