summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
