on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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