her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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