she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if only i could text you this smell
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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