so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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