We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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