So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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