we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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