break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
