He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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