you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize