I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
