I met the friendliest cop last night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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