i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
