I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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