Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
