Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
