I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
pop tarts are not kleenex
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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