there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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