Say something about gay babies.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
