Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Come on in and take your pants off
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