there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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