i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
