Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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