Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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