Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
