My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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