If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
