talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize