guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
