I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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