So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
