): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
